Is Anyone Really Shocked?
Have you heard the tragic news???? No, not about Michael Jackson, silly! The REALLY important news…. Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson the night before her birthday. How “Not” shocking! C’mon, guys, really is anyone that surprised that Tony Romo kicked Jessica to the curb? If you are, you’re just as dumb as Jessica.
I’m not upset about the media coverage on Jessica’s “tragic” breakup. I’m upset with the constant rehashing of old news when something semi-relevant triggers the attack. Jess breaks up with Tony Romo so let’s all go back and talk about her and John Mayer. Or let’s go all the way back to her and Nick Lachey. Why is it that entertainment media outlets only produce 2% new information the reguritate 10 years of past information?
For example, Michael Jackson’s death… Now, I was a little shocked when he died, don’t get me wrong. However, the constant “flashbacks” of his life with his brothers and then “experts” being interviewed about his mental and physical states. I just wish instead of re-telling all this information that could easily be gathered in a crash course called– E! True Hollywood Story. Journalists like to change their wording to make the information sound new and fresh. Everyone knows Michael was strange but a talented singer, dancer and all-round entertainer. However, I don’t need to turn onto every single news outlet to hear the same story about how he bought a monkey, or how he was charge with molestation… If you don’t know this information already, you’ve been living under a rock.
Tell the NEW information… Quit telling me information I already know. The truth behind being the first with the fresh information means you need to be the one with NEW information… not the first to tell me the same old story. Jessica Simpson being dumped… sorry, it’s the same old story.
Top 5 Comic Crushes
I want to become a comedy writer… who knows when that goal will be achieved… but I wanted to share my “comic crushes”. These are the comedians that I love and respect because I hope to be as successful as them someday. They have inspired me to become a better writer and try harder to make others laugh.
5. Christian Finnegan– He is special to me because he is the first comedian I ever saw live at the Improv. It was an amazing experience to sit in the audience and see a skilled comedian on stage. He was hilarious with his cracks about playing videogames and farting in elevators. He takes shots at himself for comedy’s sake. That’s my style as well. He was incredibly nice when I met him in person, too. I signed up for his email list and we are friends on facebook… I’m sure that he has zero clue who I am but I am truely a fan. His new special and CD are amazing and i advise you all pick it up.
4. Jason Segel– You may know him from, “How I met your mother”… I don’t. I never watched the show. I know him from his film work. I have a new-found respect for him after watching “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (which he wrote and starred) and “I love you, man”. He has a “real guy” quality to him. He seems like one of those guys you could run into in line at Starbucks and strike up an amazingly hilarious conversation with. He is a skilled puppeteer and musician. Word is that he is writing the new Muppets movie. Keep your eye out for this guy… He is genuinely funny.
3. Joel McCale– He is the host of the “Soup” on E!. He is hands down the best host that show has ever had… I am talking about the soup and Talk soup. He is again a “real” guy. He isnt afraid to make a complete ass of himself dressing up as the male nurse or my personal favorite… Rainbow Bright. I was upset when I learned he wasn’t in the running to take the job at Late Night after Conan left (Jimmy Fallon is awful). But, last week I learned that Joel will be starring in a new NBC comedy this fall called “Community”… Looks amazing because it is all about being a student in Community College… Awesome. (I went to community college for two years before transferring to pitt). I think Joel is going to be a big star… I’m thinking EMMY???
2. Trey Parker– He is my idol… well, him and number one on my list. Trey was one of the reasons I wanted to become a writer. He dropped out of college and is now a multi-millionaire… who could ask for a better idol?! Seriously, he takes huge chances with his comedy and he succeeds… South Park is a huge success. I quote it at least once or twice a day. Now, Team America was a bit odd and a bit of a bust. But, everyone makes mistakes. Trey embraces his dorky, awkward side and gets nothing but comedic gold out of it. An Oscar nomination and multiple Emmy wins speak for themselves.
1. Conan O’Brien– he is taking over for the Tonight Show next month and I couldn’t be happier. I hope he keeps true to his Conan-style because I think he is a comedic genius. Conan is the reason I wanted to become a comedy writer. I wanted to be the one in the room cracking the jokes and making a complete ass of myself for laughs. But, the main reason I love Conan’s style is because he is a smart comedian. He does do some really stupid stuff on his show… but you have to admit.. the guy is a genius. He graduated from Harvard and he got a job right out of school. he worked on shows like the Simpsons and SNL. What a resume! I can only hope to achieve half of his success. He is an amazing role model.
Sending a “Tweet”— Oh wait, no one cares!
First of all, I hate the fact that a trend started because of a douchebag like Ashton Kutcher. What the hell has he done to deserve to be on Larry King Live?! His movies suck (I think 1 person went to seeing “What Stays in Vegas”) and he has zero talents. But, what is Twitter and why do I hate this new fad so deeply?
Twitter is this new craze on the Internet that is for people who didn’t think Facebook status updates were enough. I get it, technology has taken over our lives. Everyone has a cellphone… we all text instead of call. But, why do people need to know our every move? I think this is all one big trend started by the government to follow all of our every moves… I think this is a trendy “Big Brother”. I will admit, I do have a facebook page— however, I have been a member on facebook since 2005. I was there before all the applications and weird profile pages. I miss the simpler times. I think Myspace is dying so people are trying to hop on board to the new, trendy thing ergo, TWITTER. But, if you think about it, who is really dominating the Twitter scene?
OLD PEOPLE! That’s who! C’mon guys…. anyone over the age of 40 should not be on myspace, facebook, ect. unless you have a need to be. I can see it for people who really want to keep in touch with their friends across the county or world. But I cannot stand the baby boomers who claim that they are “cool and with it” because they Tweet. Seriously, a trend with a lame name of “Tweeting”?! If you think it’s cool to Tweet then go ahead, Tweet away! But, Twitter is a dying trend already…. When you have people like Billy Bush, Sam Champion and others telling you to check out their Twitter… we have a problem. I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard that Oprah was joining the Twitter crowd. Am I supposed to care?! Twitter is dumb. Simple as that.
If you really need to have the public follow your every move you have a serious complex. I change my facebook status about 2-3 times a week. I think it is wayyyy too extreme to share too much information. Why? Who really knows who is reading that information? Why would you want to share everything about yourself on the Internet? Twitter is nothing more than an ADD version of a diary. It’s called share your personal thoughts with a pen and paper. Quit sending “tweets” containing less than 140 characters. What can you really say in less than 140 characters? Nothing worth reading, I think.
I am watching TV right now and who is on the screen but none other than the capital “D” Douchebag himself, Ashton Kutcher. He is attempting to sell me a Nokia Camera. Good luck buddy. Why doesn’t he just Tweet about how sad his life is? Go produce some more shitty TV shows for MTV… god knows you can’t do anything else. Twitter is a fad that needs to die… Now.
“Keep Cool My Babies!”– Conan’s Final Show as “Late Night” Host
If you know anything about this blog you would know that I am a Huge Conan O’Brien fan. When I found out that he was leaving “Late Night” and taking over for Jay Leno I was a little sad. I’m happy that Conan is finally getting the opportunity to showcase his talents to an audience that will not be half asleep. I just worry that some of his most notable sketches will have to die along with “Late Night”. I mean, let’s face it… Jimmy Fallon is NOT funny! All he does is laugh at the camera because his jokes fall flat. I can’t see him interviewing anyone. He will try to make it into a crappy SNL sketch about Barry Gibb. I wonder, though, will “The Tonight Show” be the same as “Late Night”?
Conan has done some pretty amazing sketches during his 15 years as the “Late Night” host. One of my absolute favorites has to be when he showed off his Green Ford Taurus. He tried to take it to the NYC carshow. It was great how his self-deprecating humor just fits into the 1230 time-slot. I just wonder if that will hold up to the 1130 audience? Is he funny, clever enough to hold the attention of the 20-30-40-50 somethings? I think so. I just think that some of his more risque characters will have to leave: Vomiting Kermit, Masturbating bear, evil puppy?… And because it is the “Tonight Show” Conan is going to lose the charm of having a smaller budget and the jokes that go along with it. He would always kid about how cheap the show was and how he earned about 10 dollars/show. Well, the “Tonight Show” is much different. How will he incorporate having a larger budget and audience?
Some of my absolute favorite shows were his strike shows from last year. The German rave, the hydraulic desk, when he took over the NBC tour, his interview with Jordan Schlansky (“Those bitches had to die”), and my favorite— the fight between Conan, John Stewart and Steven Colbert. I just hope that the “Tonight Show” will be as good… or BETTER. I think that his audience from the first few years have grown up, started families and are ready to watch Conan at a reasonable hour. I just want Conan to stay true to his Conan-ness.
Best of Luck Conan! 
– Conan takes his final bow as “Late Night” host this Friday @ 1235!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uePDlF3VbrE – this is the clip with the Ford Taurus
New Season of South Park
Starting this weekend there is a marathon on Comedy Central that is entirely devoted to Cartman. This marathon starts every night at 11. This marathon is just the preparation for the start of the new season of South Park that begins October 8th. I can only imagine what the kids of South Park have in mind for this year’s crazy presidential election and the wall street madness. I think this season has some amazing potential because of all the crap that has been happening in the world lately. South Park, please don’t disappoint!
*** Remember that you all need to tune into Comedy Central this Wednesday!!!***
Really, Clay? You’re Gay? I had No Idea.
My friend has been mentioning that I have yet to mention anything about Clay and his newfound gayness. Well, here’s the reason I didn’t write anything about this subject– Everyone already knew he was gay. There is no shocker ending to this tale. I do think it is a bit umm… weird that he had a child with his music producer “Friend”. I think it is creepy watching his elf-like face singing to his baby on GMA. I’ve never been a Claymate and I think those that are Claymates are interesting. Clay was so gay from the beginning of Idol to today. The only point of the matter is that he is on People Magazine trying so hard to be like Ellen. He even kindof looks like her too.
Another thing about Clay is that he is a Broadway star. Yes, star. He sells out Spamalot shows in NYC. People go to see him perform. I can’t knock him for that. But I can make fun of him for having a horrendous haircut. Clay, didn’t the stylist from Idol teach you anything about hair products?
Britney’s New Single
Here is the link to Britney Spears’ new single, “womanizer”. It was just released early this morning. This is the full version of the song. I think it is pretty catchy.
A Size 6 is Fat?
February 7, 2009 at 10:10 pm (barack obama comments about jessica simpson, entertainment, hollywood and dieting, humor, jessica simpson, jessica simpson clothing line, jessica simpson fat, movies, music, opinion, us weekley, writing)
After all the reports on the entertainment shows I thought that I just had to comment about Jessica Simpson. Now, I am the first to say that her music is terrible. She has never made a decent album. However, her music is not at the center of this debate. Her weight has been subject to major criticism over the past couple weeks.
About a week ago, Simpson was photographed wearing “mom jeans” at a chili cook-off. Now, mom jeans are not flattering for anyone. Simpson should know this since she has her own fashion lines. Anyways… her picture was the center of scrutinty by critics who say she has “blown up!”. Well, I am sorry but a size 6 (which is what I believe she is) is not fat. A size 6 is below average. The average size of an american woman today is a 14. Yes, 14. If you go on Match.com, Eharmony or Chemistry.com you will find that the “average woman” is larger than Jessica Simpson. Hollywood is such a demented world. Jessica was consider too tiny when she was in the box-office bomb, “The Dukes of Hazzard”. Some people just yo-yo. They can’t keep up the regimen of being at the gym 3hrs/day 7 days/week. It’s crazy. The girl is trying to sing and sell clothes. I think it’s hilarious that Ryan Seacrest calls this “earth shattering”. She had a few too many cheeseburgers… it happens to all of us! Leave the girl alone about her weight and go back to making fun of her terrible music instead.
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