Nothin’ but the Truth.

Today I had a revelation. I realized that if I don’t take advantage of opportunities that I will surely end up working in a dead-end job, miserable and filled with hate. I don’t want this to happen so today I decided that I would not allow the tediousness of retail life get to me because I am better than that. Well, maybe not. It’s strange really how someone can feel so pathetic yet so empowered at the same time. I have always been a motivated person (not always… but a lot of the time). I don’t understand why after graduating from college I am once again folding clothes and doing all the bitch work that 18 year olds should be doing. I get that I am new at this particular store but seriously, what the hell?! I have been working since I was 16 and the majority of those years were in retail. I must say that I have dealt with some serious weirdoes over those years and I don’t think people understand (People meaning managers and fellow employees) that I have seen some pretty weird shit in my day. I had a girl come up to me at my new job the other day and attempt to “train” me at customer service. She was 17 and a bratty, stuck-up teenager. I’m not going to hold that against her because all teenagers are odd and annoying. I was. But, she was trying to teach me greetings and customer interaction as I rolled my eyes and snickered to myself. I couldn’t believe that I was back in the world where I once worked at Bed Bath and Beyond and dealt with homeless people sleeping in the display beds. This girl had no idea of what I’ve seen in the world of retail hell.  She works in an upper/middle class mall where teenagers roam free through the stores and check out the novelty t’s and giggle as my patience runs thin. Retail is the greatest motivation tool in the world to better oneself.      

      My first retail job was at Bed Bath and Beyond. I got the job on the day of my high school commencement. I still don’t know how I got the job because I was grossly unqualified at the time. I think it was because I walked into the interview in a tank top and skirt (my commencement outfit) and my boss was a huge perv. I worked in the bedding and bath sections (I was rarely “Beyond”). The job was intense because I not only had to deal with customers but I had to deal with customers that were the absolute definition of a piece of shit. These customers would walk into the store expecting everything for free and then screaming at me and I even had some foreign guy call me a stupid American. I also had intense training sessions about the merchandise. I know everything there is about a vacuum. Do I care? Not really. I think the biggest thing that affected me most about this job was the cleaning that I was forced to do. Every night all the associates split up the cleaning duties (sweeping the floor, pulling out freight, trash collection, retrieving shopping carts from the parking lot, and BATHROOMS). One Saturday night that I wish to forget, but cant, there was an awful mess in the women’s bathroom. It was my responsibility to clean up an overflowing toilet covered in (use your imagination). I couldn’t believe that I had to do this. This is what you have to deal with in retail, POOP! Whether it’s the customers, coworkers or shitty toilets everything in the world of retail revolves around poop. Needless to say, I did clean up the mess. I stayed at that job for about another five months, which included me falling off the ladder into a display. This job taught me many life lessons. I did transition nicely to my next job that happened to be a childcare teacher. That job required me to change diapers (poo reference…haha!). 

            After taking a break from retail for about a year or so, I went back to the world of cash registers and shopping bags. Surprisingly I didn’t have to clean up any poop but someone did pee in the fitting room on my first day (I wish I were kidding about that!). People amaze me of how they can come to the mall and forget the most import thing, their BRAIN!!  I have had so many customers forget receipts when returning something and then expecting the same price. That’s not how it works! You knew you were returning something—bring the f’in receipt! I am so sick of dealing with undiagnosed retards. All I ask for is a little respect. I don’t want to work in retail for much longer. I didn’t sit in 5hr classes about British literature to be folding underwear for an entire afternoon. I know that people have to start from the bottom up (underwear reference… haha!) but I am sick of people treating me like shit all the time especially teenage girls that suck at life and aspire to be the next Paris Hilton. For all those who have to work in retail to reach your dreams I applaud you! It’s a hard life and we don’t get much credit for what we put up with on a daily basis. I have a lot more stories about my retail experiences but I don’t think I have the stamina to write them all down right now. All I know is that I want to move on with my life and not deal with assholes who come into a store smelling like Thai food and ass expecting me to be a personal shopper. I’m so over retail.